The Mystery of Diana's Rage
by CyberMorph
Summary: Martin and Java have a thing for each other. Diana gets mad because she cannot find her favorite cereal, Cheerios. She has an anger problem.
1. The Addiction of Cheerios

**Chapter 1: The addiction of Cheerios.**

_Notes: - Martin and Java are gay together, but not in this chapter._  
_ - Diana is addicted to Cheerios and has anger issues._  
_ - Java is intimidated by Diana.  
- This is my first fanfic._

Martin was in room reading play-girl. Java was in the living room watching TV. Diana was in the kitchen while manically searching for a box of Cheerios to eat. She was getting very impatient while scrambling to find her favorite cereal.

"JAVA!" Diana screamed.

"What Diana want?" Asked Java.

"Where the FUCK are my Cheerios?" She screamed at Java while foaming at the mouth. Java's eyes widened as he was getting scared of Diana's newest anger problems. Diana grabbed Java by his shirt collar and pulled him right up to her with her pissed off look. "I said, where are my Cheerio's?" Diana said in a calm yet threatening voice.

"Java don't know! He swears!" Java explained. Diana let go of Java and he ran back to the living room and hid in nervousness.

Diana was still looking for her crack-like addiction. She started getting really pissed and was breaking cabinet doors off their hinges. She took the fridge and tipped it making food spill everywhere. She got so mad of the mess she made, she actually lifted up the stove and threw it through the kitchen wall. Then she saw some plates on the counter and just decided to throw them forcefully to the floor. "AHHHHHHH!" She screamed in anger then kicked all the food and stomped on the plates.

Martin came out of his room holding a box of Cheerios in one hand, and eating them with the other. "What's wrong sis?" Asked Martin in a queer voice. Java got aroused. Diana's left eye started to twitch with a normal look on her face. "Whoa Diana! What the hell happened here?" Asked Martin.

"Well Diana get mad because Diana want Cheerios." Explained Java.

Diana turned immediately to Java's direction. Java quickly turned his head away.

"Oh right this was the last box. Oops. Haha kinda forgot about that." Said Martin in a nervous tone. Diana tackled Martin without warning and started punching his face in with both fists. "Ow! Ow! Ouch!" Screamed Martin in pain as his face was being pummeled. Diana got off Martin and picked up a nearby garbage can and threw it forcefully at his head. Then she picked up an umbrella and smashed him accross the face with it. Diana let out a tribal scream and stomped on Martin's special zone. "AHHHHHHHH!" Yelled Martin as he lay winced in pain. "My fucking sack!" He screamed at Diana.

"FUCK YOU MARTIN!" Said Diana. "Take my Cheerios next time and I'll actually murder you! God! How can this day get any worse?" All of a sudden Martin's watch made a beeping noise. "FUUCKK!" Diana angrily yelled. "The damn center wants us to do some shitty mission!"

Martin slowly got up and rubbed his head in pain. Java came over and started giving Martin a scalp massage. Diana looked over angrily at the two of them. Java was smirking at Martin then noticed Diana's stare. He then immediately stopped and was awaiting Diana's reply. She just rolled her eyes and shuddered. "Let's just go and do this fucking stupid-shit 'Mission'!"

Martin looked at his watch to see where to go in order to enter the center. "Ugh, it's coming from the toilet." Said Martin. "We have to hop in it in order to get in the center."

"Wow. Sometimes I think the center TRIES to piss me off." Said Diana as she was lifting up the toilet seat just see a shit. "MARTIN!" She scoffed at him. She took Martin's head and placed it on the toilet and smashed his head with the seat until the seat broke in pieces. Then she took toilet paper and shoved it in Martin's mouth choking him until she finally just threw Martin in the toilet, and into the center. Java just hopped in really fast. Diana was the last one and just casually stepped into the shit-stained toilet. They all fell for a second and landed on a pad. They saw aliens typing some random shit that made no sense. Martin, Java and Diana all stood up and groaned in the pain of falling. "I swear to god if I see Billy I'm gonna lose it." Said Diana.

"Hi guys!" Said an annoying voice from behind. Diana turned around really fast and punched Billy right in the face then broke his neck and threw his spaceship on the floor forcefully. She then kicked Billy's dead body into a crevise in the floor. Java Started whimpering in sadness. Diana turned around to Java and put her right index finger and thumb close together. "You're this close Java." She threatened. Martin elbowed Java.

"Don't cry Javipooh," said Martin "I don't want to get my ass kicked again." Java tried to hold back the tears as Diana was just turning away. They eventually made it to a big round door. It opened, ands there was Mom standing infront of her table waiting for her agents.

"Welcome Martin, Java and Diana." Said Mom as she was sitting down. "Where's Billy?" She asked. Diana just glared at Martin and Java.

"Billy never show up." Said java. Diana nodded to him.

"Huh that's weird. Oh well, anyways here's the mission..." She started to explain to them as they all gathered around a table to hear Mom's explaination...


	2. Arrival

**Chapter 2: Arrival**

As Mom was explaining the situation, Martin and Java were staring into each others eyes. Diana punched Martin in the ribs and told him to pay attention. Martin and Java snapped out of their trance with each other and started listening to Mom's explanation of the mission.

"Uh right, so can you explain that one more time Mom? I didn't quite get that." Said Martin as he gave a sensual smirk towards Java. Java returned the smirk. Diana just threw her arms in the air and sat down on a couch, aggravated by Martin's obviously distracted sick mind. While Mom was telling the mission to Martin and Java, Diana had one hand supporting her head as her elbow was leaning on the couch arm and her other hand was making a motion to hurry up.

"So as I said before" said Mom, "there's been reports of people having severely painful deaths." She continued, "Some people have exploded, some shattering apart like glass from a cartoon, and even some who have just melted on the spot like that one scene from Indiana Jones." Mom stated. "I hacked into the data base of the towns police station and it states the cause of these deaths are unknown."

"So you want us to go to the town, figure out what's killing these people, then stop what ever that's doing it?" Asked Martin.

"Of course! What the hell else would we do? I swear to god sometimes I just want to kill you!" Screamed Diana.

"Well excuse me Diana." Said Martin.

"Alright agents, here's the scoop. Find out what's killing these people, stop it then report back to me." Said Mom. "If you don't I will fire you. Also you already know about The Center, so once you're in, the only way out is by death." Threatened Mom. "So in other words, finish this mission. If you don't I will kill you all!" Said Mom as she slammed her fist on the table. That made Java jump. "Now get going!" She commanded as she opened a wormhole of some kind that leads to the town. Martin and Java dashed in there, Diana just casually strolled through it, then the wormhole closed. "About time..." Said Mom as she pressed a red button and a big rave started happening in the room.

"Java confused. Where is us?" He asked in his obvious voice masker.

"We're obviously just on the outskirt of the fucking town you dumb shit!" Diana replied while pointing to a town just down the mountain side. "Now lets go and get this fucking mission over with!" She said. Everyone was walking down a pathway through the foresty mountain side in silence, except for Diana who was mumbling about something. Then all of a sudden in the distance all three of them could hear a womans scream. They all raced over to where they heard the shriek. They arrived only to find a persons insides and blood sitting on the ground. Java held in his vomit as he saw the remains of the human. Martin had a nervous look on his face, then stood behind Java looking over him with both his hands on Java's left shoulder. Diana just stood there with a normal look on her face. "Huh. She seemed to have melted..." Diana Diagnosed. "Okay, what the hell is going on here?" Said asked herself. "Martin, Java, search around for any clues." Martin and Java just stood there and looked at each other. "RIGHT FUCKING NOW!" Screamed Diana. Martin and Java then immediately started running around looking for clues.

"Java find something!" Said Java. Diana ran over and saw Java holding a stick. "See?"  
Diana sighed heavily and face palmed herself.

"That's just a friggin' stick." She said. She removed her hand from her face, broke the stick in half then threw the two pieces at Java's face. "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU BECOME AN AGENT?" Yelled Diana viciously.

"Java sorry!" He said as he shielded his face with his hands.

"Diana!" Yelled Martin's distant voice.

"Oh my god!" Complained Diana as she stormed over to Martin's location. "WHAT NOW?"

"I think I found a clue." He said as Diana was looking to where Martin was pointing. She noticed that Martin was pointing at a box on the ground. Diana picked up the box, then gave a nasty mean look at Martin. Martin turned around towards Diana just as she backhanded his face.

"This is the box of Cheerios you dropped when we got here!" She said as she then grabbed Martin's shirt and started punching him in the face until Martin had both eyes black, a swollen face and a bloody nose. "You really like getting the living shit beaten out of you, don't you?" She said as she continued pounding Martin in the nose. Java came running and grabbed Diana's hands to stop her from hitting Martin. Diana got really pissed off, then just judo flipped Java over her back and onto the ground. She started stomping on Java's face and chest with her shoe. "I've had just about enough of you two inept fags!" She shouted as she went on her knees and started punching Java's head as he was lying on the ground. She eventually got up and was breathing angrily heavy. Then she stormed off. Martin helped Java to his feet.

"She really needs to learn to control her anger." Said Martin. Java nodded in agreement.

"This way you two retards!" Diana yelled to them from a short distance. She started walking towards the town in a hasty pace. Martin and Java were slowly following her. Java had an arm resting on Martin's shoulders to help support him as they walked. Just a little further down the mountain side pathway was the town. They saw it and sighed. When Diana arrived in the town she saw something that changed her angry mood to a very happy mood...


	3. Diana gets Overwhelmed

**Chapter 3: Diana gets Overwhelmed **

_Notes: -Gets pretty dark in this chapter._

As Martin and Java were slowly walking towards the town, Diana was running down one of the main streets. She saw a supermarket in the distance. "They surely have Cheerios there!" She exclaimed in excitement. She ran up to the store and didn't even use the doors to get in it. She just ran straight through a big glass window. She kept running down the isles like she didn't do anything out of the ordinary. Diana finally reached the cereal section and there before her was a big shelf just full of Cheerio boxes. Diana got on her knees and started crying tears of joy. People were walking past her with weird expressions on their faces. Diana eventually got up and grabbed an arm full of Cheerio boxes then dashed to the nearest check-out counter. When Diana went to pay for the cereal, she reached in her pocket only to see a moth fly out of it. She screamed in anger since she couldn't pay for the cereal. Martin and Java slowly walked over to where Diana was standing. Diana quickly turned around and punched Martin in the face, which sent him flying down to the floor.

"Ow! Will you stop?" Said Martin. As Martin was still a little dazed, Diana took Martin's wallet and gave the cashier a bunch of money.

"Thanks for the money." She said as she threw Martin's wallet forcefully at his face. At the end of all this chaos, Diana made away with four bags of Cheerio boxes. The three of them were walking down the street. Martin and Java were all beat up, Diana was stuffing her face with cereal.

Martin tried reaching his hand for some Cheerios. Diana just made a growling sound and Martin immediately pulled his hand back to his side. "Hey sis can you share the wealth please?" Asked Martin. Diana stopped in her tracks then turned towards Martin. "Oh crap."

"Excuse me Martin?" Diana started. "You want some of my Cheerios? Remember what happened at home when you took my Cheerios? I nearly killed you like I did with Billy." Diana continued, "and now you actually have the audacity to ask for more? Fine you want some? Here!" She screamed at him as she took a handful and threw them in the face Martin. "There's your fucking Cheerios!"

"Diana, calm down." Said Java.

"I'm getting sick and tired of your ugly face Java! I swear you look like William Hung on steroids!" She said. Then she made a pissed off look for a second.

"Diana please! Stop doing all these things to us. We don't mean to make you angry." Said Martin.

"Well it's a little fucking late for that now isn't it?" Replied Diana. "You don't mean to piss me off, yet you two are always mooching off my stuff and doing god-awful things when you guys are alone together! For goodness sakes you even got me into this business with The Center when I didn't want a part of it!" Diana then closed her eyes and started rubbing her temples. "Man I fucking hate you two." She said in a calm tone.

Then for no reason whatsoever, a civilan on the other side of the street melted into a pile of gooie flesh. All three of them looked over in the direction of the incident. "Ewwww." Said Martin.

"Oh fuck off." Said Diana. "Even I have more balls than you." Then she walked across the street to investigate. Eventually Martin and Java manned up and went to investigate too. "Another person melted. What the frick is going on? This pisses me off!" She said as she punched a hole in the brick wall beside her. Then out of the corner of her eye she saw a person in a trench coat run in an alley. "This way!" She said to Martin and Java and took off running. All three of them got to the alley and saw the person in the black trench coat. He was trapped, with a barb wired fence behind him, and a brick wall on both sides. "Well well well, look who we have here." Said Diana as she dropped her bags of Cheerios.

"Uh, Diana m-maybe we should just-" Said Martin as he was interrupted.

"Oh god Martin you always were a pussy." Said the person in the trench coat.

"How the hell do you know my name?" Asked Martin.

"Let's just say I know you all too well." Said the stranger.

"... Uncle Jimmy?" Asked Martin.

"Oh my god," said the stranger as he removed his hood. "It's me Marvin." He continued. "Man you sure are stupid Martin." Said Marvin.

"Screw you!" Replied Martin as the flung his right hand at Marvin.

Diana saw all this happening and was getting fed up. "Okay you know what?" Said Diana as she pulled a pistol out of her pocket and immediately shot and killed Marvin. Marvin just fell to the ground and instantly died. "There, case closed." She said. Martin and Java were just standing there in shock.

"I can't believe it." Said Martin. "You... killed Marvin." Diana just smiled.

"I always hated that faggot." She then put her hand on Martin's shoulder while smiling. "But not as much as I hate you." Then she put the gun to Martin's stomach and shot. Martin cringed for a second then fell to the ground. Java took off running but Diana got on one knee and shot Java in the back. He fell to the ground wounded. Diana walked up to Java then cocked her gun. "Nothing personal Ja- Oh wait it is." Then she finished him in cold blood. Diana blew on the barrel of the pistol, spun it around her finger a few times then opened the portal to The Center. As she stepped in she saw a big rave going on.

Mom stopped dancing on the table, turned all the lights back to normal and told everyone to leave except for Diana. "Diana? Where's Martin and Java?" She asked.

"Oh they said they'll be here and a bit." Said Diana while smirking.

"Oh okay." Replied Mom. "So did you find out what was killing everyone?"

"Yeah it was Marvin. I don't know how the fuck he did that shit." Said Diana.

"So how did you stop him?" Asked Mom

"Oh I shot him." Said Diana.

"Ah... Wait what?" Mom nervously said. "You shot him?"

"Yup. Also guess what?"

"What?" Mom said as she slowly backed away. Diana just walked closer with an evil smile on her face as she was pulling the gun out of her pocket.

"Martin and Java are actually never coming back." She said then laughed.

"R-r-really?" Mom nervously asked.

"Yes, Martin and Java are gone forever."

"Oh." Said Mom and she pressed the red button to rave again. "I actually owe thanks to you Diana. I never really did like Martin." She said. Diana just stood there puzzled. Mom didn't like Martin? Really? Diana just shrugged then started raving all night with everyone.

It was morning and Diana got out of bed. She stretched then ate a bowl of Cheerios. curiosity was starting to overwhelm her on how Marvin could make people melt. She tried to ignore it, but her curiosity was building. Eventually she couldn't stand it anymore and broke into Marvin's dorm. She saw a whole bunch of satanic worshipping objects and spell books. Diana just shrugged then left.

"I wonder why he killed all those people." She asked to herself. "Eh, oh well. I don't care. As long as I got my Cheerios." Diana walked into her dorm then continued eating. She seemed happy to be living by herself now. The news came on talking about the deaths of Martin, Marvin and Java. Diana found it humorous and turned the volume up while laughing manically. Diana then went insane.

THE END


End file.
